pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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