My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
