I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just cropdusted the office
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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