is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
