I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
