About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Randomize
