i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize