I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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