woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
