She said her name was "party"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
