Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
