So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
