instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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