I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
