Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
