I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
