The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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