Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
