so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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