WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
