Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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