and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
