Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
