I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize