Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
