This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
