you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I deserve this hangover.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
And then he peed in my hair
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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