Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize