Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
