You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
