I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
