I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
