Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
