i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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