WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
accomplished twins. life is a go
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
