Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
