Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
