her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she peed on how many people?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
