Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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