Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
