Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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