I hate your face
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
