drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Mom said you looked used
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
