It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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