So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
