Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
