I am puke
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
