He had one of those small greek statue penises
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize