Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
