the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
