I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
