the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
