Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize