Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When are your genitals available?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
