16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
