My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
