Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
