i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize