Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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