Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
