You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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