After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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