Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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