If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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