Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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