i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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