I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
