i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
