if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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